The Story of Ayyappa
Once upon a time, in a timeless time, long ago- after Shiva loses the dice game, he throws a temper tantrum and runs off to the Tillai forest. In the Tillai forest, Shiva begins to dance in a ring of fire, he begins to move. His dance is not only the dissolution of the eon, but also the making of the next. His dance represents the cycles of time; the continuous process of creation, preservation, and destruction.
Deep in the forest, the gods gather to watch the great lord dance. Vishnu who is both Shiva’s confidant and Shakti’s brother appears in the form of Mohini. Mohini is Vishnu’s one and only incarnation in female form. If you can recall-her goal was to settle the dispute between the devas and the demons that aroused during the churning of the milky ocean.
Enchanted by the beauty of Mohini, Shiva fell in love with her and a beautiful son, Ayyappa, was born to them. Ayyappa, of course has many names, one being Bhutapati- the lord of ghosts. Ayyappa lives in the darkness of the forest and he becomes the night manger in a world where you never know who is going to show up. Parvati will soon learn of Shiva’s betrayal, but she will choose to love her son anyways.
To dive deeper-
The forest represents the collective unconscious, that which is unseen. We live in a world that is 1/4 seen (known) and 3/4 unseen (unknown). The greater you shine your light, the greater shadow you cast. If Skanda is the light of your future self, Ayyappa is the shadow of your past. Ayyappa is known as the golden child because we are to make our wounds golden. We must learn to live with the wound, alchemizes it.
Kintsugi is the Japanese Art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. As yogis, rather than running from our ghosts, or denying the aspects of ourselves we dislike, we must learn to fully embrace and love all parts of our being. Eventually we will come to realize that our wounds are the entry point into the deepest layers of being.
